Stan Has An Epiphany
by Mimizuku9
Summary: Stan and the rest of the boys go on a camping trip they won't forget. It doesn't take long for Stan to realize he has feelings for Kyle. Cliche dialogue and gingers in maid outfits ensues.


"So… where are we going again, Stan?"

"I don't know. Some lake in the middle of nowhere." Stan answered Kyle.

Stan's dad, who had been driving the four boys for about an hour now, turned his head to Stan.

"It's not just 'some lake in the middle of nowhere', Stan. It's a very special place for us Marsh's. For generations we've used this pond as a place for fishing, hunting, manly things that we men have been neglected in today's world. You and your friends are going find out a lot about yourselves on this trip. Things you didn't know.'

"That's gay."

Kyle turned towards Cartman."Says the one who brought dolls to the trip."

"Hey! They're not dolls! It's Clyde Frog and Ms. Polly Prissypants and they think that I am cool, awesome and totally not fat."

"I'm not even going to start, Cartman." Kyle said in his usual exasperated tone when Cartman said something stupid.

"Mpf mpfmpf mpf"

"Dad, Kenny wants to know how much longer until we get there."

"Not much longer, son."

* * *

The sun was starting to set. Every time Stan asked his dad 'how much longer' the answer was always the same.

"Not much longer, son"

"Dad, you said that 3 hours ago."

"Why don't you boys play a game? How about 'I Spy'? Let me start… Okay…. I spy, with my little eye-"

"Oh-Oh- Can I start first?" Cartman said in an overly eager voice.

"…Alright. Go ahead."

"I spy with my little eye…. Something that starts with the letter G."

The car was quiet for a moment.

"Um…" Stan took a guess."Gear?"

"No."

"Gas station?"

"No."

"Oh-I know!" Kyle pointed to his hat."It's my hat, isn't it? Green hat?"

"No."

"Well, what is it?"

Cartman snickered before replying. "Greedy Jew."

"Goddammit Cartman! That's not funny! Stop doing that!" Kyle was starting to go red with rage.

"Doing what?"

"Making stupid jokes like that, fatass!"

"I'm not fat, I'm-"

"No! No, you're not big boned, you're not beefy and you're not festively plump!"

"Dude-"Stan held Kyle back in an attempt to stop the fight before it could escalate.

"Hey! At least I'm not a Jew! Or a ginger!"

"Aaaaagh!" Kyle lunged across the seat towards Cartman.

The car suddenly stopped.

"Boys, if you can't behave then I'm going to have to split you up. Eric, you're sitting in the front."

"Sweet." Cartman quickly and easily recovered from the quarrel.

"Now, I suggest you boys sleep for a bit. We still have quite a way to go."

* * *

Stan woke up and realized it was pitch dark outside. He felt a warm weight on his shoulder. As he turned away from the window, he realized that Kyle had fell asleep next him and was resting his head on his left shoulder, breathing quietly.

At first he was too tired to react. For a moment he just looked at Kyle, whose face was occasionally illuminated by the light from the lamp posts by the road. He couldn't help but notice that Kyle actually looked… cute.

The thought lingered in his mind for a bit, but then as his sleepiness wore off he realized what he was thinking.

Horrified, he tried to gently pull away from Kyle, pressing himself into the window as much as possible. To make matters worse, Kyle slid down Stan's shoulder, resting with his head on Stan's lap.

"You okay there, son?" Randy Marsh glanced at Stan through the rearview mirror.

"Uh… Yeah. I… just woke up." Stan noticed – to his relief- that his dad couldn't actually see Kyle.

"Alright. We're almost there anyway."

Stan sat there for a few minutes, uncertain of what to do. Should he wake Kyle up? Or maybe he should just push him towards Kenny's side instead?

Stan wasn't given a choice, as Kyle started to shift around. He was waking up. What was he supposed to say?

Kyle yawned as he turned so that he was facing Stan. His eyes flickered open.

"Stan?" Kyle spoke in a groggy voice. Upon his realization of where he was sleeping, his eyes widened and his face went beetroot red. He quickly got up and looked away.

"I… Uh… it was by ac-"Stan felt his face flush.

"It's – its fine. Don't worry about it." Kyle sat upright, facing Kenny's side.

"Is something wrong, boys?" Stan's dad looked at the two with a concerned look, his head almost twisted back. Stan was unsure of whether his dad had witnessed the entire event, but nonetheless-

"Dad, eyes on the road!"

"Right. Right." Randy turned his head back to look at the road.

For another twenty minutes, Stan looked out the window in silence. He presumed Kyle was doing the same, but he couldn't tell for sure. He couldn't bring himself to look the other way. All he could hear was Cartman snoring. Really loudly. But it didn't stop Stan from repeatedly seeing the whole affair in his mind. He couldn't stop thinking about it.

"Boys, wake up. We're here."

* * *

"Okay, now before we start setting up our tents, I need to go over some rules."

The boys were standing in a small clearing in the middle of a forest. There was supposed to be a lake nearby, but Stan couldn't see a thing. Even when he waved his flashlight around, he only saw darkness around them.

"Now, if you need to go the bathroom, you go to a bush nearby. Make sure you take someone with you, you don't want to get lost on your own."

"Wait, someone has to watch us go?" Cartman was clearly bothered by this.

Randy ignored Cartman's question. "Also, if you hear any suspicious noises, you stay right in your tent. Don't leave and wander off. Chances are it's a wild animal, and you don't want to provoke it."

After several minutes of a thorough 'overview' of health and safety rules for camping, Randy paused for a moment.

"Alright, boys. Let's build our tents. Two per tent. I'll have my own."

"Come on, Stan. We've got to build ours before Kenny and Cartman do!" Kyle looked at Stan with an enthusiastic expression. Anything involving making Cartman look like a dumbass was a more than welcome opportunity for Kyle.

"Uh… Sure." Stan guessed that Kyle had forgotten about the whole thing, which was a huge relief. Things were back to normal.

It took a while to finally get the tent up, considering that it was pitch dark and they only had their small flashlights to see what they were doing. Even so, Stan and Kyle worked quickly and efficiently.

"Finished!" Kyle said loudly as he high-fived Stan, ensuring that Cartman would hear. Which he did.

"Yeah, well… We finished too, isn't that right Kenny?"

"Mpf"

"No you didn't!" Kyle retorted.

"Stan! If you and you're friends finished making your tents, you should all go to bed. We have a long day tomorrow."

Cartman and Kyle completely ignored the advice.

"Did too."

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

Stan nudged Kyle. "Come on, dude. Forget it, let's go."

The two boys crawled into the tent and got into their sleeping bags. It wasn't long before Stan and Kyle could hear a muffled dialogue.

"Why hello, Ms. Polly Prissypants!"

"Oh, hello Eric. I think you are so cool and awesome!"

"Aw, why thank you! Would you like some more tea, Clyde Frog?"

Kyle looked at Stan. "Dude, is that Cartman?"

"Sounds like it."

"That's messed up."

Stan's eyelids began to feel heavy. Soon enough they closed as he fell into deep sleep.

For some reason, Stan suddenly woke up with an uneasy feeling. He rolled over in his sleeping bag towards Kyle. The red haired boy seemed to be sleeping soundly, his tousled red curls partially covering his face.

_Not this again._ Stan couldn't help thinking that Kyle really did look beautiful when he was sleeping. He looked so relaxed.

Normally Kyle would have his brow furrowed from concentration in class, or have that familiar angry expression whenever Cartman did what he always did best –pissing Kyle off. Seeing Kyle like this was unusual.

Stan suddenly had the urge to touch his face. It's just curiosity, Stan thought. Maybe if he just touched his cheek… Kyle might not even notice.

Stan hesitated for a while. He then gingerly reached out and put his hand on Kyle's cheek. It was so warm. His hand, almost as if of its own accord, began to caress his red hair. Kyle was still asleep.

_I should probably stop._ Stan pulled back his hand. He looked at Kyle for a while longer, expecting that his curiosity would fade. But it didn't. He still felt like there was a force drawing him towards Kyle, inviting him to inch closer and closer.

Stan had managed to quietly maneuver his sleeping bag closer, until his face was almost touching Kyle's. He lay there as still as possible, all the while trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with him. Why was he doing this? He could turn around and go back to sleep, or….

He leaned into Kyle's face, but then stopped himself. Should he? Surely this would wake Kyle up, and he couldn't have another incident like this compromise his friendship.

Just as he was about to go back to sleep, Kyle's emerald eyes opened to look directly into Stan's. There was a moment of silence. Neither of them moved.

Stan opened his mouth to say something, but before he could Kyle had pressed his lips into Stan's. He felt his heart beat quicken.

It only lasted for a second, but it was long enough for Stan to realize why he had felt so strange before. This was what he wanted. And apparently… so did Kyle.

Kyle abruptly pulled away. He got up and turned away from Stan, covering his face.

"Kyle…?" Stan felt his face blush too. This was his first kiss.

Kyle turned to face Stan, still covering his face. "Why did you do that?"

"What do you mean? You leaned in first!"

"Aaagh! No! No, I….I didn't...You're the one who tried to kiss me first!" Kyle quickly put his hand over his mouth, realizing that he had said that loud enough for the entire forest to hear.

"You were awake when I did that?!" Stan's face was burning with embarrassment.

"Of course I was! And... .And you were touching my face! What the hell was that?!"

"Shhh! Do you want everyone to hear?"

There was a loud crunch outside of their tent. Stan froze.

"What was that?" Stan whispered.

"I'm going to have a look." Kyle began to unzip the tent flap, eager to leave the tent.

"But my dad said we have to stay inside the tent!" Kyle ignored him and left. He followed Kyle out, feeling concerned that maybe things couldn't go back to normal.

"You guys! You guys!" Cartman was panting as he ran towards them. "Something's got Kenny! We need to leave!"

"We have to help him!" Kyle's voice sounded shaky.

"Well, screw you guys! I'm going home!" Cartman ran off.

Stan heard branches snapping in front of them. They were getting louder, closer.

"Kyle, we need to leave. Now."

Kyle stood motionless.

"Kyle!"

A large shadow stood right in front of them, holding Kenny.

"Mpppppf! Mppppf!"

The shadow proceeded to tighten its grip on Kenny, placing its gnarled hand on Kenny's head. Growling, it began to pull his head, until a sickening pop echoed in the forest.

Stan, who could barely speak, managed to croak somewhat comprehensibly. "Oh my god! It killed Kenny!"

Kyle said nothing.

"Kyle?"

The dark mass snarled, leering at them as it began to approach.

"Kyle, run!"

Stan grabbed Kyle's arm and ran as fast as he could. He had no idea where he was even going, he was only thinking of getting away.

"Aagh!" Kyle stumbled and fell.

"Come on!" Stan helped Kyle up. He could see lights up ahead. Was that… his dad's car?

"Stan! Get in!" Stan's dad yelled.

Stan and Kyle quickly climbed into the car. Randy drove off, swerving wildly in the process.

"Dad, what the hell was that thing?"

"I don't know, son. I've never seen anything like it. It was like, half bear, half pig, and… half man."

"Looked like a goddamn hippie if you ask me!" Cartman was sitting comfortably in the passenger's seat, eating a donut. When did he even have the time to get one of those?

"Are you boys okay?"

"Yeah, dad. We're fine." Stan looked at Kyle, who was staring out the window.

"Right, Kyle?"

Kyle didn't respond.

* * *

"Okay, children. Now, who can tell me why King Joffrey died?" Mr. Garrison looked expectantly at the class. No one answered.

"No one? Okay, well King Joffrey was killed because he was a vicious…" He proceeded to write on the chalk board. "… sadistic… asshole. Does everyone understand that?"

Despite the obvious bullshit Mr. Garrison spewed out in lessons, no one ever objected. Not even Kyle or Wendy.

"Alright, now turn to page 23 of your textbooks…"

"Psst…PSST!"

"What is it, Cartman?" Kyle snapped.

"I heard..." Cartman glanced around before continuing. "…that you -"

Cartman attempted to stifle a laugh, but he couldn't hold it any longer.

"AHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHA!"

Mr. Garrison turned around angrily. "What's so funny, Eric? Would you like to share it with the rest of the class?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry. It was nothing". Cartman said whilst still chortling.

"Token, could you read the passage from your book?" Mr. Garrison continued on with the lesson.

Cartman turned back to Kyle. "I know what happened at the trip this weekend. Meet me after school."

"Why the hell would I do that, fatass?" Kyle hissed back.

"Because if you don't… "Cartman indicated a small envelope under his desk. "I'm afraid I have photographic proof concerning _you_ to turn up at the school newspaper. They'll be very interested in its contents."

* * *

Kyle was waiting at the back of school. How did he get himself into this mess? What was he even thinking when he... did _that._ Now Stan thinks he's gay, Cartman was blackmailing him, and god knows what he'd make him do.

"I see you've come to your senses, Kyle. Now, before we get to business-"

"Let me see the picture."

Cartman was slightly taken aback. "You don't get to see the picture."

"Then how do I know you're not lying? Let me see it." Kyle reached for the envelope in Cartman's hand.

"Hey!" Cartman pulled his hand away."I said no!"

"Then you're lying. I'm leaving." Kyle started to walk away.

"Are you sure you want to do that, Kyle?"

Kyle turned back abruptly. "What do you mean?"

"Sure, the picture might not even exist- but what if it was real? For all you know, I have incriminating evidence right here, ready to show it to everyone in South Park. Are you willing to take the risk?" Cartman looked at him straight in the eyes, a look that told Kyle he meant business.

After a moment of hesitation, Kyle gave in. "What do you want?"

Cartman smiled as he pulled out a folded piece of paper from his pocket. It looked old and worn out, like it had been folded and unfolded countless times. He handed the paper to Kyle.

"Read it."

Kyle opened up the paper, revealing a page long list scrawled on it, describing every possible way to humiliate Kyle. To his frustration, most of them were checked off the list. Kyle smelling Cartman's farts and liking it, check. Kyle sucking Cartman's balls – in everyone's imagination, in his defense– check. Giving Kyle AIDS, check. Get Kyle to stick his finger up Cartman's ass, check. All were terrible things that he never hoped to do again. He skimmed through to the last item on the list, unchecked. His face suddenly reddened, not out of rage, but embarrassment.

"I can't do THAT!" Kyle was mortified at the thought of doing such a thing. It might have been the worst of all of Cartman's diabolical plans.

"You will."

"At school?! Is that even allowed?! Can…." Kyle's looked down, feeling ashamed already."Can I at least keep my hat on?"

"This is gonna be so sweet!" Cartman was already picturing it with a sadistic smile on his face.

"I hate you, Cartman. I hate you more than anything."

* * *

"Sharon, can you pass me the ketchup?"

"Get it yourself, Randy! It's right next to you!" Stan's mom was exasperated with his dad, as always.

But that was the least of Stan's worries. The entire day at school Kyle had completely ignored him. He even disappeared during lunch. When Stan finally did get a moment with him, Kyle just kept looking down and finding some lame excuse to leave.

What should he do? All he wanted was for things to be back to normal, but…. Did he? Kyle was his best friend in the whole world, but at the same time he couldn't just act like it was all he ever wanted. What happened at the lake felt right to him, like it was something he should have done long ago.

"Stan! Answer your mother!"

"Dad, can I… ask you something? In private?"

Randy was surprised. His son rarely asked _him_ for advice.

"Sure, son." Randy said as he got out of his chair. "Let's talk in the living room."

Stan sat next to his dad on the couch, feeling a bit nervous. How should he phrase it? What would his dad think?

"What is it, Stan?

"Dad, I…."He chose his words carefully."I found something out at the camping trip. Something about the way I feel towards…"

Randy put his hand on Stan's shoulder."It's okay, Stanley. This is part of growing up. Part of becoming a man. You see, this is what's called an epiphany. It's when you realize something that you didn't understand before. I had one when I was about your age, and it changed everything."

"Dad, I don't think you get what I meant. I realized that I-"

"I don't want to hear it, Stan. This is something very personal, something only you can know."

"But… because of it, my friend is ignoring me. He doesn't understand."

"Son, at times like that, you need to- Oh my god! Sharon, get in here!"

Stan's mom hurried into the living room. "What is it, Randy?"

"Sharon! My left ear popped! I can hear on this side now!"

"Oh my god! Randy, we need to call everyone!"

Both of Stan's parents left the room just like that. Half the time- no, most of the time- Stan felt like _he_ was the adult here. The one time he asked his dad for advice, and he goes running around yelling something about his popped ear. God, it annoyed him.

* * *

"Stan? Stan?"

Despite Wendy's efforts to get him to talk, he just wasn't in the mood for it.

"Stan, what is wrong with you today?"

Taking out his ridiculously heavy mathematics book from his locker, he decided to finally speak.

"Wendy. I'm breaking up with you."

The dark haired girl looked at him in disbelief, although only for a moment. Her expression was quickly replaced by disappointment. "Oh. Was it something I did?"

"No! It's just…." Stan hesitated."I can't really tell you. But it's not your fault, Wendy. Really."

"That's fine, Stan. I understand." Wendy said with a faint smile, although Stan could tell she was really upset. He felt bad doing this, but he couldn't lie to her. He couldn't really tell her the truth either.

"Oh my god!"

"Damn, Kyle. You make a fine lady."

"AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!"

Looking over at where the commotion was coming from, Stan saw everyone huddled around something. Everyone except Cartman, who was laughing hysterically. That was not a good sign.

Making his way past the crowd, he managed to see what everyone found so amusing. At the center of the mob, was Kyle. Dressed up in a French maid's outfit, although still retaining the trademark green hat of his.

"Kyle?!" Stan didn't know what to make of it. He had the urge to laugh a little, but seeing as Kyle looked extremely uncomfortable and completely humiliated, he held it back.

"Stan?" Kyle blushed even more in Stan's presence. "You shouldn't see me… like this."

Kyle pushing through the crowd and ran off, not even giving Stan the chance to say anything more.

"Cartman! What the hell did you do to Kyle?" Stan knew that there was only one person who could be responsible. Especially when degrading Kyle was involved.

"What me. Oh, nothing." Cartman pretended to be more interested in the state of his nails."Just a mutual agreement."

"Mutual agreement?!" Stan took a hold of Cartman's collar and violently threw him against the lockers."What did you tell him? What did you do?"

Everyone gathered around to watch. No one had ever seen Stan get this angry. Besides, nothing was more entertaining than watching the school's most hated kid get beat up.

"Ok! Ok! Stan! I'll tell you!" Stan loosened his grip on Cartman. "Jeez, Stan. Relax a little, would you? All I said was that I had certain photographic proof that would potentially put Kyle's reputation at stake. And one of my… conditions was that he would-"Cartman tried his best to hold back his laughter"- wear a maid outfit! AHAHAHAHAHAHA-"

Stan punched Cartman square in the jaw and walked away.

"Aagh!" Cartman fell to the ground from the impact. Looking around, he realized everyone was watching. He quickly got up and brushed himself off, displaying his usual fake bravado. "I mean- Wow, Stan. Is that the best you got?"

"Kyle? Kyle, where are you?" Stan paced through the hallway, checking in every empty classroom. Where could he be?

"Is something wrong, Stan?" Counselor Mackey stuck out his gigantic head from his office.

"Have you seen Kyle? Or… uh… a maid walk by?"

"I haven't seen Kyle, but I did see a girl crying and running by here a minute ago. Be careful, Stan. You shouldn't talk to strange girls because they might have drugs and you'll end up getting high, m'kay? 'Cuz that'd be bad, m'kay?"

"Yeah… whatever." Stan ran past the counselor's office. He could faintly hear whimpering somewhere around here.

He stopped abruptly at a storage closet. He was sure that Kyle was here.

He carefully opened the closet door and peeked inside. He left the closet door slightly open, lighting up the small room so that he could just about see Kyle huddled up in the far corner with his head buried in his frilly lap.

"Kyle?" Stan approached him.

"Go away, Stan."

Stan sat next to him anyway. "Kyle… I'm sorry."

The ginger haired maid didn't look up. Stan continued. "I'm sorry I put you in a position like that. I shouldn't have done that. I was selfish and I didn't think about how you felt."

Kyle lifted his head up, his hat falling off in the process. His eyes were puffy from crying so much, and his cheeks were still flushed.

"Stan… Don't say you're sorry. I… I wanted that kiss." Kyle smiled gently. It was the most beautiful smile Stan had ever seen.

Stan was speechless. Sure, he had come to terms with how he felt for Kyle, but he hadn't prepared for the fact that Kyle might feel the same way.

Kyle took his hand and held it tightly, all the while feeling his heart beat wildly. "To be honest, I had always imagined what it might be like to be with you." He glanced away, still feeling embarrassed that he was even saying this."When I woke up to see you looking at me… I thought I was dreaming. So I leaned in. I didn't realize until I pulled away that it wasn't a dream at all."

"Why did you ignore me? For a while I thought I ruined everything for us."

With his free hand, Kyle started fiddling with the frills of his skirt. "I thought that maybe you didn't feel the same way. Until now, I don't think even I knew how I felt."

Stan held Kyle's face with his hands, caressing the locks of red hair that framed his face. He pulled him in for a kiss. Kyle wrapped his arms tightly around Stan.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Stan." Kyle mumbled into his chest as Stan stroked his hair.

The door creaked open abruptly.

"There you are! What in the heavens are you two doing?!" Principal Victoria shrieked.

Kyle was so startled he jumped up like a cat. "Gah! Principal Victoria! We… uh… I-"

"Just get back to class!"

"Let's go, dude." Stan smiled playfully at Kyle as he grabbed his hand.

"O-Ok!" Kyle ran out with Stan, ignoring the Principal's stern look.

* * *

The three boys sat at their lunch table as usual. Things were back to normal, at least… as normal as it could get.

Kyle and Stan held hands underneath the table, occasionally exchanging shy smiles. No one knew yet, but not for long.

"What's with those looks? You guys gay or something?" Cartman could sense something was different. Those two were starting to become even more inseparable than they were before.

Stan and Kyle looked at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter. It was like some creepy telepathy was going on.

"OKAY! What the fudge is up with you two? Kyle?" Cartman glared at the red-haired boy, still in his maid outfit."Hey jewboy! Get me some cookies! Now!"

"Shut up, fatass!"

"Hey! I'm not fat I'm-"The two got up before he could even finish.

"Everyone! Can I have your attention!" Stan stood in the middle of the cafeteria with Kyle by his side.

Everyone turned to look at Stan. "I have something to confess. I…." He grabbed a hold of Kyle's hand. "I'm in love with Kyle."

No one said a word. Until Cartman decided to open his mouth.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH- OH MY GOD! AHAHAHA! YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" Cartman was literally on the floor laughing.

Kyle, who was starting to get pissed off, had enough. "Shut it, tubby!" He grabbed Stan by the shoulders and passionately kissed him on the lips.

After a very awkward twenty- eight seconds, Kyle and Stan finally pulled away.

"There! We kissed, and I liked it!" Kyle exclaimed proudly.

"Ok." Clyde stared blankly.

"You're… You're not gonna rip on us?" Stan was a little more than confused.

"We kinda already knew you two were… y'know, funny." Token added.

"And also Kyle's hat makes it kind of obvious." Craig stated bluntly.

"My hat? What's wrong with my hat?" Kyle felt a bit defensive.

"Whatever. Screw you guys, I'm going to another table." Cartman made his way towards Clyde's table.

"I guess… it wasn't that big of a deal." Stan was mildly surprised.

"Yeah. I guess." Kyle smiled sweetly at him. Stan felt butterflies in his stomach. This was the happiest he had ever felt.

"Come on, dude. Let's go rip on Cartman." The two walked off hand in hand, ready for whatever crazy situation their town would get into next.

* * *

**THE END**

**And that was my first (completed) fanfic! Hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to give feedback, I'm curious to see what you think :)**


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